Both the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox started their seasons 0-3. This hasn’t happened in all of eternity, or at least since the Cubs last won a title.
The amount of suck happening in the two ball clubs has caused panic in the Bronx and Boston. Fans in the Bronx are calling for Jeter and A-Rod to get their old asses off the field and get some players who don’t need canes to walk. Mariano Rivera, in an un-Mariano Rivera-like move, gave up a a lead to the Tampa Bay Rays leading fans to call for him to join the other fogeys in the nursing home.
Over in Beantown, in true Bostonian fashion, fans just swore a lot and burned sh*t. And then drank themselves into a stupor. The terrible start has also prompted fans to believe there is another curse placed on the team: the curse of the Epsteino (like the curse of the Babino, only not).
It’s rumored that Yankee Stadium and Fenway Park will burn to the ground if neither team makes it to the post-season. OK, the rumor was literally just made up here, but it could happen. We’re dealing with New Yorkers and Bostonians here. It could happen.
At the rate these teams are going, the Cubs may win a title before either team wins a game. The Cubs are due for a win.
Who am I kidding? The chances of the Cubs winning a title are about the same as a guy named Bubba winning the Masters.
Oh, wait. That happened?